A mother's baby is hers and hers alone. She is not being selfish when she wants to hold her baby and take care of her baby WHENEVER she wants. It's her right. It's HER baby. Everyone else can have the privilege of holding her baby and taking care of her baby, but ONLY if that is what the mother wishes.
If a mother doesn't want to take advice that is given to her... guess what? She doesn't have to! No one knows her baby better than her. ALL babies are different. Just because you've had one baby or ten babies, does NOT mean you know that mother's baby and everything there is to know about babies.
So if you are offended or bothered by the way that I think things should be, go right on ahead.
That's your choice.