Dear Baby

Dear Baby Teagan, 

Today you turned 4 months old and I can not believe it. I can't believe how quickly you are growing, how strong you are becoming, and how incredibly smart you are. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You are the joy of my life and I love you with all my heart. You're laughing more and more every day and I absolutely adore it. I think your laugh is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard. No one can make me smile like you do. I'm so happy that I get to be your mother and I can't wait to watch you grow up. I know we will be making many wonderful memories together.
Love Always,
Mommy 

2 Year Anniversary

 Today is our two year anniversary, but since it's on Sunday we went out and celebrated it last night.

We went out and had Chinese. It was delicious! 

The pictures are a little out of order, but oh well. 

This is Devin with his fortune. I don't understand the expression on his face. haha

This was my second plate and I actually ended up not eating most of it. haha The shrimp was just not agreeing with me. 

This was my ice cream gnome. Can you see his face? Devin made it. 

This plate was Devin's and that's me with my fortune. I thought it was kind of lame. 

I'll come finish this later, so this is it for now. 

Oooh, the last month or so

So a lot has happened since I posted anything. We don't live in Mesa anymore. We decided it just wasn't working anymore. The money wasn't coming in the way we needed it to. So we came home to Utah. We currently live with my mom. That is only going to be short term though. We are going to be moving to St. George as soon as possible because that's were Devin's new job is. He is going to help run a new restaurant called the Patio Grill. So if you live in S. Utah you have to go check it out. ;) 

Before we left Mesa I made sure that we went to the Temple, cause who knows when we'll be back. 

 Devin with Teagan in front of the Temple.

                                         Teagan and I on the side of the Temple.

The Mesa Arizona Temple. It is pretty cool looking.

Another thing we did before we left Arizona is we went the Phoenix Zoo. It was pretty fun, but ridiculously HOT. Oh my goodness it was hot. I was pretty much dying the whole time, but it was still fun and cool to see the animals. 

They had this enclosed area where these monkeys roam free. No Cages. It was really cool to get to see some animals that weren't in a cage. I feel bad when I see animals in cages. 

While we were there we got to see a whole family or Orangutans. There was a dad, mom, baby, and grandma. The baby was 5 years old. And I was lucky  enough to get a picture of him nursing. I though it was a really cool thing to see. I do wish the picture was better though.
                                                                                                                         When we came up to this monkey she came right up to us. She was incredibly interested in Teagan. We thought it was pretty neat. So neat that we had to take a bunch of pictures. This is just one of them. ;)

Here Teagan is with the tiger. She didn't care, but oh well. 

And here we all are after walking through most of the zoo in 100 degree weather. 

Something else that has happened recently is my mom's dog died. He got really sick and had a miserable life, completely blind, and having nose bleeds daily so we made the decision to put him down. It was really hard for all of us, but now he is no longer suffering. 

I made sure to get a pic. of him with Teagan, cause I want her to know about him.

Here is our most recent family picture taken with Devin's new Droid phone. He loves it and he has wanted one for a long time. We were getting ready to go out into the rain so that is why Teagan is all bundled up. She looked sooo cute. I loved it. 

Teagan is doing good. She laughed for the first time the day before yesterday. She is sitting up really good now, but not by herself yet. She loves it when people talk to her. She'll give almost anyone a smile, which I love. I really hope she'll be an outgoing child. I don't want her to be shy like me. Pretty much Teagan is adorable and the love of my life, next to Devin of course. ;)

Also Devin and I now do a paper route. Random job, right? 

Rant, rant, rant

A mother's baby is hers and hers alone. She is not being selfish when she wants to hold her baby and take care of her baby WHENEVER she wants. It's her right. It's HER baby. Everyone else can have the privilege of holding her baby and taking care of her baby, but ONLY if that is what the mother wishes. 

If a mother doesn't want to take advice that is given to her... guess what? She doesn't have to! No one knows her baby better than her. ALL babies are different. Just because you've had one baby or ten babies, does NOT mean you know that mother's baby and everything there is to know about babies. 

So if you are offended or bothered by the way that I think things should be, go right on ahead.

 That's your choice.  

The Beginning and End of Breast Feeding

Breast feeding is/was hard. Crazy ridiculous hard. No one tells you just how hard it is either.
I have pretty much failed at it. I gave it as much as I could in the beginning. I still feel like I could have given it more, but there's not much that I can do about it now. I definitely feel like women should be more educated about beast feeding before they give birth. I though that I knew a fair amount, but it wasn't enough.

It all started with the fact that I have inverted/flat nipples. Technically this should not be a huge problem if you know how to deal with it properly. For me it was though. It cause intense pain. I dreaded every time I needed to feed my baby. That fact alone made me incredibly sad. A mother should not dread feeding her baby. It's suppose to be a wonderful bonding experience. Of course lots of women go through pain in the beginning and that can be normal.

(While trying to deal with the pain of having inverted/flat nipple I would occasionally give Teagan formula... when the pain was just too much. Big mistake though.)

A few weeks after giving birth I got mastitis. Mastitis was awful.... absolutely AWFUL. I had a fever of 103 and I could barely wear a t-shirt. Then they tell you that it's best to keep nursing... ha... funny. I couldn't do it. The nipple problem combined with Mastitis was too much for me. So I let the breast that had Mastitis dry up... aka, no longer produce milk. One breast is capable of producing enough milk for your baby so I thought that's what I could do.

(Now I've started giving Teagan even more formula, but hoping to get back to strictly breast feeding.)

Since I got Mastitis I had to take antibiotics to help take care of it. By taking antibiotics and taking enough probiotics with them I got thrush. Thrush hurt too. Wearing a bra was quite painful. Thrush was pretty much the last straw for me. I was emotionally drained and just couldn't take anymore pain.

So the plan of breast feeding exclusively died. Formula was it. Which I hated and still hate, but as long as my baby is fed and happy that's all that matters.

Through out all of this I cried and cried and CRIED about not being able to do it the way it's supposed to be done. I have felt like such a quitter and wimp. I feel like I should of been able to do it and that I didn't give it as much as I could have. I know that for the most part this all isn't true, but I just wasn't ever prepared to fail at breast feeding. That's the one thing that I never expected.

Now we just nurse once a day... at night just before bed, but I'm probably going to be stopping that soon too.

I plan to be better prepared with our next child and at least now I kind of know what to expect. Next time I'm going to give it all I've got and hope it's enough.

So... it's been a while since I've had enough time to blog. Life is pretty good. We are currently living in Mesa, AZ. It is ridiculously hot down here... no joke. If you don't like the heat don't ever move here. I feel bad for Devin having to be outside all day every day, but oh well. He only has to do it for four months, then he can quit. I'm really excited for that. I'm done with this job too. I hate the hours. Hate, hate, hate. It'll be worth it in the end though. 

Life with baby Teagan is good. She is starting to have a lot more personality and it's the cutest thing. Her sneezes are adorable and I love it when she will happily talk to herself while lying on the floor. She is probably the best baby ever. Occasionally fussy, but she's a baby... it's gonna happen sometimes. 

I can't believe how much she has change since birth. 

Here she is, 2 days old. 

And here she is 5 weeks and 3 days old. 

This is basically our first family pic. 

Life is good. :)

July 21st 2011

On Tuesday July 19th my water broke, but I didn't have contractions that followed so I just stayed at home and waited/hoped they would start soon. The following morning I had an appointment with my doctor. They did a test to make sure it was my water that had broken and sure enough it was. Of course my doctor wanted me to go to the hospital asap and get started on Pitocin so that I'd start having contractions. This idea did not fit very well into my natural birth plan so I didn't go to the hospital exactly when he told me to. I tried to do some things at home to get contractions going naturally, but they didn't work. So at about 1:30 we finally decided to go to the hospital. (The only reason I even went in then is because I had tested positive for Group B Strep and had to have antibiotics before baby came. If  I hadn't of had that I would of given my body the whole 48 hours to start contractions. Instead I was only able to give it 24 hours.) Of course when we got to the hospital we had to sit around and wait forever. I wanted one of the rooms with a shower in it so we had to wait for them to clean it. Once I got checked into my room they started the antibiotics. I still hadn't started the Pitocin yet, because I really wanted to do this all natural. However, by the time 6 pm came around we decided to start the Pitocin. Shortly after that, contractions started. 

This is after labor start. Obviously this is not during hardcore active labor.

 

Labor with Pitocin was hard, but I was able to do it without any type of pain medication. So that is something I am very happy about. I definitely think that next time I have a baby it will be little bit easier, not much, but a little, because Pitocin contractions are much harder and more painful compared to natural ones.

Our Doula was a huge help during all of this. I am for sure going to have a Doula for all of my pregnancies and I highly recommend having one.

I also think that having just Devin and our Doula there for the birth was the best idea too. I'm most likely going to do all my births that way. 

Here is Teagan, fresh out of the womb. She was covered in tons of vernix still. 

After Teagan and I did some skin to skin bonding for about an hour daddy got his turn to hold her. 

 This is baby and I later in the day, after I'd recovered slightly from the excitement of the night and early morning.

Baby Teagan in the hospital. She weighed 6 lbs. 5 oz at birth and was about 18 in. long, born at 5:12 am.

I think she turned out pretty darn good. Of course I'm just a little biased, but look at that face. How can you say she isn't just the cutest thing ever. 

 Luckily after Teagan was born we only had to stay in the hospital for 24hrs. They said that sometimes they like to watch babies for 24 to 48hrs. when the mother tested positive for Group B Strep, but we lucked out. 

All in all I'm very happy with the way things went. They didn't go as planned, but I always knew that was a possibility. I definitely want to try to get a midwife for my next birth though, but we'll see how things go once we get to that point. 

This next part might be a little gross to some of you or just really weird. 

We decided to keep my placenta so that our Doula could encapsulate it and turn it into pills. These pills help with the baby blues, postpartum depression, PMS, and menopause. So of course I'm gonna do them.

We also did a print with the placenta. It's called the tree of life and it's made with the fetal side of the placenta. The fetal side is kinda purple and bluish and has tons of huge veins on it. It's really cool looking. 

Here is a pic. of our Doula making the print of the tree of life. 

Here is the finished product. It's pretty nifty. 

Here is a website about placenta encapsulation. 

 http://placentabenefits.info/

One more picture for good measure.